What really gets me is the fact that I have to try so much harder than other people to get what I want.
What’s that? You party every weekend and spend your free time smoking and getting laid while still managing to pass all your classes? Cool.
Meanwhile, in my motherfucking basement, I’ve been trying to stay on top of things yet I’m failing 3 classes right now.
What’s that? You play videogames nonstop and do whatever it is that you like to do instead of actually helping me out in this partner project?
That’s cool. Let me just pull some all-nighters and spend days of my time doing our work so that on presentation day, the teacher will give us a C.
I hate school. I try so hard to do things right. So fucking hard. I hate people. All they do is hang our friendship in front of my and pull it away when I need them most. You have a problem? Of course I’ll talk to you on the phone for 3 hours despite my dire situation with homework. But when I am hoping you’ll do the same, you criticize my lack of tending to your needs.
I don’t feel like I’ll ever meet a person who will appreciate me and understand my dysfunction in life. I don’t think anyone will ever be accepting of my general irritability and longing for appreciation as the result of this shitty life I “lead”.
My parents mock me for being on the computer and xbox too much but how else am I supposed to avoid the stress and depression that irritates them as well.
I can never please anyone and nothing I do is every good enough. I’m probably not even going to graduate with everyone this year because my grades just aren’t good enough.
I’m a fucking failure and eager to put an end to all the madness that is my life.
I don’t like the way I can’t read you.
And it’s like we became best friends over the course of 48-hours.
How is this even possible.
Maybe all I needed was to make new friends and find more ways to be myself.
I’m running out of things that make me happy.
